Fasting Forward (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 5)

Let me catch you up so I can update this in real time. Here are some milestones that have occurred since late September:

• I attended a low-key housewarming for a girlfriend where everyone brought a bottle of bubbly or a bottle of rosé and I drank my favorite ginger beer and left in a terrible mood.
• I discovered high-CBD tincture.
• I sung two songs ("Pop Life" and "Wanna Be Your Lover") at Dearly Beloved, an all-Prince karaoke joint that was part of this art show. I busted out my "best" falsetto for the latter and sweated a lot, but I did not drink.
• I made it through a very long rock show in order to see members of my onetime favorite band reunite for three songs, and I was nice to everyone but inside I was kind of seething.
• I discovered high-CBD lozenges.
• My blood test results on October 7 were great.
• I had a fancy cocktail and a glass of rosé on my wedding anniversary two days later and it was amazing.
• I found the N/A section of the BevMo beer section: It's near the gluten-free beers and the ciders but it is suspiciously unmarked by signage.
• Clausthaler golden amber is pretty good. Buckler is good, too, but I resent whatever marketing genius came up with the name — "Buckler nonalcoholic beer, for when you're about to buckle." Regardless, I am drinking one right now.
• I had a glass of prosecco at a drag show because everyone else was laughing more than I was.
• I made it through a wonderful singing party (like with songbooks full of folk and classic rock shouters and live accompaniment and casually assigned solos) and I took a solo on "Quinn the Eskimo" and I didn't drink a drop. I may have talked a little bit too much about my sobriety, though.

It's now Thursday, October 20. Today the temperatures were in the high 70s, which happens sometimes in the Bay Area in October but won't happen much longer. As I walked home from the train station after work, all I could think about was how badly I wanted a drink. My dad always said that the morning cigarette with his coffee was the hardest one to quit; well, I think the casual after-work drink is my toughest. Especially on a beautiful, warm evening, after an intense — not bad intense, but rather challenging and productive — work day. Meeting a friend for a happy hour cocktail (I'm thinking a greyhound at 389) would be wonderful.  Having a glass of wine at home would be divine. The ritual of it, the gentle transition of it, the slight recalibration of my brain and nervous system to the nighttime — everything about it sounds like exactly what I need.Having a Buckler and updating this blog will have to do.My current plan is to hold fast until Halloween weekend, and then let myself off the hook again once or twice. In the meantime, I'm going to go try on some dresses that haven't fit in a while. Maybe that will cheer me up.