Archives for October 2016

Stefanie Kalem / October 29, 2016

What I Have to Work With (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 6)

I got married in a rush to save a kid from being deported/ Now she's in love I was so touched, I was moved to kick the crutches/ From my crippled friend She was not impressed that I cured her on the Sabbath/ So I went to confess When she saw the funny side, we introduced my child bride/ To whisky and gin — Belle and Sebastian “The State I Am In” A wise friend once told me that he had no problem with technology, provided it was being used as a …

Stefanie Kalem / October 21, 2016

Fasting Forward (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 5)

Let me catch you up so I can update this in real time. Here are some milestones that have occurred since late September: I attended a low-key housewarming for a girlfriend where everyone brought a bottle of bubbly or a bottle of rosé and I drank my favorite ginger beer and left in a terrible mood. I discovered high-CBD tincture. I sung two songs ("Pop Life" and "Wanna Be Your Lover") at Dearly Beloved, an all-Prince karaoke joint that was part …

Stefanie Kalem / October 18, 2016

There Was This Tree, Part 2 (Adventures in Temporary Enforced Sobriety, Part 4)

A week before the show, I found out that a good friend of mine had done the whole latent TB drill in her early twenties. As she’s very smart — several advanced degrees deep — and also not as prone to blindly following rules as I am (the husband calls it “an unhealthy fear of authority” but I think it's just a fear of having my mellow harshed) I asked her advice. “Can I have, like, one beer?” The internet isn’t very helpful in this regard. Ask it what …